Seven Stages
by honeybeerose
Summary: Carlos tells the other members that he's gay and loves them in an unique way. SLASH


**Seven Stages**

Chapter One

by CMSpencerFan

Carlos was trying to think hard of the best way to tell his friends about his deepest secret...a secret that he's keeping from all of them. He felt bad that he couldn't be honest with them and believed if anyone could be trusted with his secret, it would be them. Carlos trusted Kendall, Logan and James with his life.

He tried just using words but he sucked at it. He grabbed a pen and his song notebook. He started to write a song. Even though it wasn't the best, he knew it was only being used to reveal his secret.

_To all my friends, I've known throughout the years_

_We shared happiness...memories...tears_

_To the three I know the best_

_There's something I must confess._

_This is something that comes from deep within my heart_

_Something like this might even tear us apart_

_I'm so different than all of you_

_None probably have a clue._

_I should have been honest from the start..._

_Dear Logan...Kendall...and James_

_Things might never be the same..._

_But I want to tell you that I'm gay_

_I didn't tell you before...I didn't know what to say._

_Now before any of you speak_

_Please...please don't think I'm a freak_

_But, I also love you all in that way._

As Carlos wrote it in his notebook, his hand started shaking thinking that he might lose them all. He didn't know what he'd do without them. They are the only one who understands him and his stupid stunts. His shyness is the main reason why he still sleeps with a teddy bear.

He read over the song once more. It was a crappy song, but it told them how he felt. Carlos decided to put it in Logan's and James' room. He carefully placed it on Logan's bed. His bed was always neatly made and he knew it would be noticed. He glanced over at James' bed. It was a wreck and he never cleaned up after himself, but Carlos didn't care...he loved him anyways. He loved Logan because he was so smart...so responsible...gentle and a sensitive person. Kendall was fairly neat. He kept things in order. He was like their leader. Carlos always went to him for help (unless it was school work) and he watched over them all making sure they were okay. No wonder why Carlos loved him as well.

His fantasies always were about all three of his friends. Carlos knew it was wrong but it wasn't because of being gay, but he could never choose between them. He loved them all. He would know in an hour or two if they still accepted him for whom he was. At the moment them loving him the same way wasn't even in his mind, all he wanted was their acceptance.

Carlos got up and left the room. He was the only one home. The others had plans—James was girl watching, Kendall had a date with Jo, Logan had a date with Camille and Mama Knight and Katie were having a movie night. Of course, he had to love the most straight men he knew. His heart ached because he felt positive that their love would never be in the same way he felt for them. He was positive that they wouldn't dump on him. Carlos knew them inside and out and they have never put someone down for being gay. He was just nervous.

Carlos was glad he had the house to himself. He went over to the desk where they kept their laptop and started it up. He went to a website that he secretly had found. He clicked on his favorite section. It was a folder filled with Big Time Rush slash stories. Thankfully, no one else had found it.

He open one that was about Logan and himself. He felt himself grow hard as he got to the part where Logan took off his clothes. He saw all of his friends naked before since they played hockey and they often showered in the gym. Carlos noticed that Logan's body was perfect...cute...compact...not a mark on him. He would love to lick his body all over...kissing everywhere. He knew making love to Logan would be sweet and gentle.

Carlos undid his pants and went to the next story. It was a story about James and him. The story had James in control and it made him groan. It didn't matter who started what, but it ended with James topping him in the shower. James had him pinned against the slick wall fucking him roughly. Carlos was a virgin in this story...so it hurt like hell, but he didn't tell James to stop. In fact, Carlos continued to want it harder and harder. He continued to jerk off as he imagined James doing just that.

Carlos opened the last story. This story featured Kendall and himself. In all the stories that he read, he was always a virgin. The stories varied about the other three. In this story, Kendall was talking dirty to him. The sheer thought caused Carlos to see stars and his aching dick began spurting all over the place. He quickly grabbed a towel to capture the majority of his load. He quickly cleaned himself and pulled up his pants. Apparently, it was just in time as he heard the door open. He knew the others were home. He shut the stories and turned off the laptop. Now, he waits...


End file.
